As someone who used to be afraid to say no to people, I’m here to tell you that it’s the best thing you can do for yourself and your peace of mind. 

Saying no to someone can be a daunting and anxiety inducing thing to do for a person who has anxiety and is a people pleaser. The aforementioned described a much younger me. I used to be terrified to say no to people and if I did say no, I felt a crushing need to explain why I said no, in order to make the person feel better. HA! I could shake my younger self for this but we move. 

It used to be so bad, that I would have all the symptoms of an anxiety attack (back then I didn’t know what it was called) just because I had to say no. I would have to prep myself mentally to do so and it was hell. You’re probably wondering why I’m talking about this right now and it’s because over the past few weeks, I found myself going down that slippery slope again and had to reign it in. I found myself getting anxious about sending messages where I had to decline certain things and I did not like the feeling at all. It would play on my mind throughout the day, literally causing my heart to race and my body to tense up. I had to stop and take a breather, forcing myself to recalibrate and not fall into an anxious web again. 

1) No is a full sentence.

2) Unless you really need to, do NOT explain why you said no.

3) Do NOT let anyone bully you into changing your mind.

4) Do NOT let anyone guilt trip into changing your mind.

5) Let your “no” preserve your boundaries

You are not obligated to justify to anyone why you said no to them. Most times, people will react negatively simply because they didn’t expect the no to come from you. They will try every tactic in the book to try and guilt trip you into changing your no to yes; don’t let them. 

Put yourself first, don’t let anyone else take advantage of your kindness, don’t be a pushover and again do NOT feel bad about any of it.

‘Til next time,

Abi♡